Eyes

I, too, have eyes—beautiful eyes!*

I am the daughter of a photographer. As a child, I never wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps because he lacked the patience to teach. Back then, I couldn’t see the world behind his eyes.

A black and white photograph of a person holding a mirror that reflects one of their eyes, creating an artistic visual effect.

He was the son of an ambitious nation, born shortly before a devastating world war. When he was fourteen, the curious boy caught the wink of an optical lens in the trash. He fashioned his first camera and fell under the spell of the visual world—an encounter that would change his life forever.

Thirteen years later, then a young ballet dancer, he was drafted into service for a second world war. He decided he did not want to face the enemy with a weapon in his hand, but with a camera. He offered his services to the Wehrmacht as a photographer. From then on, he traveled to the theaters of war aboard a U-boat.

Whenever he surfaced from the breathtaking darkness of the deep waters into the liberating air of a coast, his third eye caught the cruel light illuminating horror and destruction. From the hostile cold of Scandinavia to the vibrant heat of Italy and the dry sun of Tripoli, he captured his impressions on rolls of celluloid.

An antique camera with a leather case, positioned next to a black and white photograph of a smiling man wearing a camera around his neck.

While his camera recorded the terrible reality of battles on the front lines, the observer within him rejected those horrific images, choosing to remember only the beautiful pictures of adventures in foreign lands. From developing in the darkroom, the photographer knew darkness well. In the submarine, he had grown accustomed to the suffocating obscurity of the deep. When the war ended, the returning veteran set up his first studio in an underground bunker.

A ruined Germany licked its wounds. At forty, driven by curiosity, he photographed the windows of newly built homes like glittering eyes, the radiant eyes of newlyweds, and—with loving eyes—his wife and daughter. On photographic paper, he reproduced the world of his inner canvas, bearing witness to a new beginning and the rising and falling tides of his homeland.

Distant lands continued to lure the adventurer. Traveling the world, the curious Cyclops used his third eye to explore exotic vegetation, foreign cultures, and the people of distant shores. Later, having retired to a remote island, the old explorer upgraded his equipment, though his own failing eyes began to betray him. The lens of his camera became his way of navigating his surroundings.

Koni Eimke with his video camera

When the light in his gaze finally went out, one half-blind eye remained open in a final stare. As I kissed him one last time, I realized that through his loving vision, he had taught me a love for life. In his photos, I see his perspective. Now that his lids are closed, I can finally see the world behind them.

* From ETA Hoffmann, The Sandman (1817)

The Zeiss Lens

Growing up in the Wreckage of War

Little Rudi was chasing her around with a stool. He was three now. It was the second year of a world war, and food was scarce. Thank goodness, Frieda thought, that her milk was abundant. She unbuttoned her blouse, pulled out her breast, and, perched on the stool, the little boy began to nurse.

When the war ended, the surrounding ruins were a playground dream for the neighborhood kids. Frieda had forbidden him from going near them, but he was stubborn and wouldn’t listen. More than once, he came home with a bloody knee and torn clothes. She would have to mend them. The shops were bare, and money was tight.

By the time he was fourteen, Rudi and his friends were still exploring places where they hoped to unearth something interesting. From a pile of rubble, a Zeiss lens glinted in the trash. It was a treasure for the teenager.

“Mommy, Mommy!” he called out. “Look what I found! At school, they taught us about the camera obscura and a man named Daguerre. I’m going to build myself a camera!”

Foto: Roman Buxbaum – Tichý Ocean Foundation

Thank goodness he’s a good student and uses his time well, his mother thought. Aside from being rather messy, frequently ruining his clothes, and hating to wash up, he was a low-maintenance child. He’ll figure things out, Frieda reassured herself.

“What’s for lunch?” she heard him call from the stairs.

“Wipe your shoes before you come in!” she called back. Now it was her turn to chase him—not with a stool, but with a mop. He had left a trail of muddy footprints, and her husband could not stand a dirty house.

Ellen

Forty-two Years of Friendship

The day before, I had taken a monumental step: moving out of my parents’ home and into a place of my own. Today was all about gratitude—a chance to host the friends who had helped me move and thank them with a home-cooked meal. There was just one problem. My new flat came with a gas stove, and no matter how much I fumbled with it, I couldn’t get it to light. As the clock ticked down, panic began to set in. Desperate, I decided to seek help next door.

Our fifth-floor apartment was split down the middle by a shared hallway that housed a shower on one side, a bathtub on the other, and a toilet nestled between them. On either side sat a separate kitchen and bedroom. The girl who used to live on the right side had recently moved out, leaving the remaining tenant to choose her new neighbor. She had chosen me.

I crossed the threshold and tapped softly on the frosted glass of her door. Moments later, a silhouette glided toward the glass. The door swung open, and there stood Ellen—completely, unapologetically naked.

I just froze there, eyes wide, utterly speechless. Ellen took one look at my stunned face and burst into laughter. “I don’t even have a gas stove—just two electric hot plates,” she chuckled. Taking me by the hand, she walked me back across the hall to my kitchen. Together, we finally coaxed a flame from the burner.

The food was still simmering on the stove as the first visitor rang the doorbell. That wild, unexpected afternoon encounter marked the beginning of a forty-two-year friendship—one that endured until the day God did us part.

Janine McAullay-Bott, Train Engine, 2011, palm fronds, palm branch, kurrajong seed pod . Photo Josh Wells. Image supplied by MAC Inc.

Janine McAullay-Bott, Train Engine, 2011, palm fronds, palm branch, kurrajong seed pod . Photo Josh Wells. Image supplied by MAC Inc.

This morning, it felt as though her spirit were in the room with me. A photo popped up on my phone showing a tiny locomotive woven from twigs, and I knew instantly how much she would have adored it. She was an avid collector of toy trains and locomotives. Seeing it, I could almost picture her riding high atop that wooden train, her short hair tousled by the wind, laughing whole-heartedly—and, of course, stark naked.

I miss her dearly. She was the best friend I ever had.

The Pleasure of so many little Things

Tiny details of life in a world full of wonders

Rummaging through my drawer, a black cord keeps me from closing it. I tug on it, and tied to a carabiner hook covered in green rust, a black funnel-shaped object appears with a lens at its narrow end. Its Bakelite body is missing a small triangular chip where the lens screws in, and the lens itself is chipped too. “Darn it!” I hear my father say as he bends down to pick it up from the floor. It is his jeweler’s loupe, which he used to touch up tiny imperfections left by dust particles on photos using a fine brush dipped in black or white ink.

I remember a day during summer vacation. I had been given a microscope for my birthday. While running through my aunt’s garden, I scrapped my knee. I ran into the house, curious to look at my blood. It was teeming with round red particles that moved!

Better not look at the dust on my desk, just in case it moves too… I lift the loupe and try looking through it toward my window. I move it closer and farther from my eyes until the inverted, tiny image of my village appears. That is how it reduces. I flip it over. At two centimeters, it enlarges the minuscule print on an instruction manual. Closing one eye, I hold the loupe in the other. I can’t see a thing until the object is about ten centimeters away.

I look at my finger, magnificently magnified. I am amazed by the landscape of fingerprint ridges and grooves. Did you know that papillary ridges are dotted with countless tiny pitted specks? I get close to my dog’s blue eyes. Around the black pupil, I see feathery strokes of sky blue, encircled by a soft bluish-white ring laced with delicate veins.

I laugh quietly to myself. I have completely forgotten what I was looking for in the drawer. Standing here with my father’s loupe, I realize it doesn’t matter anymore. For a moment, I am not just looking through a lens; I am looking through my father’s eyes at a world full of wonders, sharing the exact curiosity that made him pause and pay attention to the tiniest details of life. Without knowing it, this was what I needed to find all along. 

Camino de Ronda

I walk with firm steps. I breathe deeply, absorbing the green exuberance as my feet tread on roots, fallen branches, and small pieces of calcified coral. In places, the ground is covered in soft green moss, slippery at times where cascading water has polished the surface. Downhill, downhill I go—carefully at first, but gaining speed until I am running. I feel the breeze of my own motion caressing my face.

This winding coastal path is my favorite section. My walk follows a map painted with scents: aromatic carpets of dry leaves, the perfume of pine, the fragrant offering of Mediterranean herbs, crisp green freshness, and the salty air from the Great Blue that embraces my town. I inhale deeply. Energy fills me. I feel calera.

Visions at Dawn

Come on, lazy bones, just get up! Go for a walk and enjoy the beauty of this new autumn day. In the dance of cool blue shadows, you can already sense winter drawing near. An aquamarine sky caresses its sapphire liquid lover, while in the distance, a lapis lazuli mountain range looks on, envying the beauty of their union. The blinding sun’s diamond reflections paint the palm fronds white. Let the still-mild air kiss the sleep from your eyes so you can witness the spectacle.

Because before you realize, darkness will descend. Like a black hole, the night will swallow the reddened dusk, wrapping you in the stillness of nothingness.

A few Loose Hours

A morning of strange Associatons

Strange associations

Last night‘s recordings sound as if I had been completely drunk. In reality, I had just been drunk on sleep.

This morning, however, waking up is a different story. My dog presses his face against mine and licks my nose—our sacred morning ritual. Inside my head, words are still fast asleep. “Coffee” is the very first one to clear the fog. I ask Alexa to turn on the news, needing to figure out what is happening in the world today. With a fresh mug and a yogurt in hand, I retreat straight back to bed.

On the radio, a reporter mentions that today is International Mother Language Day. The broadcast quickly shifts, making me wonder: is a new global conflict really looming over Europe? Then, the host introduces a word that describes me perfectly—tsundoku, the Japanese term for people who pile up unread books on their nightstands. Minutes later, a photo on Facebook catches my eye and lures me into the endless temptations of research.

But my drift is cut short. Wifi, my dog, urgently needs to pee and insists we get moving.

Outside, we cross paths with a couple wearing sunglasses. It is a windy, gray day; the sun is completely hidden. I can’t help but wonder: what exactly are they trying to hide?

Down by the water, chaos breaks out as a flock of seagulls relentlessly pursues one lucky bird that managed to catch a sardine. Only a solitary cormorant remains completely still, as if lost in meditation. Looking down, I notice the reflection of a railing stretching across the water. The stark black-and-white lines instantly evoke the striped uniforms of prisoners in Nazi concentration camps. What a curious association for a simple morning walk.

Later, I go out for lunch with an English friend. As I play last night’s recordings for her—now translating my dictation to English—she can’t help but laugh out loud.

And looking back at my day, I have to chuckle too. It is fascinating how the mind works in those quiet, unstructured hours between sleep and fully waking up. From the simple, chaotic greed of seagulls to the heavy weight of history reflected in a harbor railing, our brains constantly weave together a unique tapestry of the world. Perhaps that is the beauty of language, or simply learning to translate our thoughts: it forces us to stop, look closer, and find meaning—or a good laugh—in the most fleeting moments.

A Visual Mind in a World of Words

Just Thinking

Today, I realized that it is far easier for me to think and write in a foreign language than it is to speak it. I can’t help but wonder why that is! As an exercise for today, I decide to dictate my thoughts directly into my phone. What a hassle! It feels clumsy and difficult, but I regard it as a creative challenge. So, practice it is!

Do I actually think in words? I don’t believe I do. My thoughts take shape long before the words arrive, and the specific language I choose depends entirely on whatever linguistic environment I happen to be immersed in at the moment.

Language is powerful. The Gospel of John famously begins with, “In the beginning was the Word,” casting the word as the ultimate creative force. On the other hand, Ulysses S. Grant once wrote, “I think I am a verb.” I deeply resonate with that observation. I am always active—a doer, a feeler, a creator of my own world. I am an active piece of the universe around me, or at the very least, my actions ripple through it.

I also think in images, a trait I consider quite important. Being the daughter of a photographer, this visual instinct is part of my DNA. As an artist, I spent a long time expressing my feelings, observations, and ideas through multidimensional, tactile visual works. Learning to describe both my inner and outer worlds through written language is an entirely new journey for me.